There is something to be said about having a knowledgeable coach to guide you, to offer advice and to keep you accountable. I have been working out, eating healthy and been setting goals for years, I like to think that I am fairly knowledgeable in this area. But what I also know is I love to learn and grow and having Neil as my coach over the past 12 weeks (and of course signed up for 12 more) I have done just that!
The first time I walked into Trench was for one of the lifting workshops they hosted. As soon as I walked in I had a sense of belonging. I have walked into new spaces before and felt my anxiety climb, I have felt scared and unsure, but there was a different feeling when I walked into this facility! After spending the afternoon with Neil and John, I knew I wanted more from them. A few weeks after my first workshop they had announced the next 12 week transformation challenge. 12 weeks later, here I sit a happier, healthier and definitely a stronger person.
Living 2 hours away from Trench and being able to be a part of their program was so needed. The knowledge that I have taken is amazing, hey guess what you don’t need to cut everything out and by everything I mean everything! Like I said at the beginning I have been in this industry for a long time and I am proud to say that I am always looking to grow and to improve so that I can share my knowledge, and that is exactly what Neil did. He taught me that food has nothing ‘on me’, it is all my choices and I am 100% in control. There was a few days during the 12 weeks that a lot of emotional things happen in our life and I was definitely turning to food for some comfort. During my weekly check in I had expressed this to Neil, I was certain his response would go like this, ‘Oh sheesh Jen that is so awful, it is ok to have those extra calories, you will just bounce back’! So that wasn’t his response and if I am being honest (that is what this journey needs to grow, right?) I was a bit ticked and hurt when I first read his message. I came back to my computer a few minutes later still a little annoyed by his lack of empathy (I’m sure if he would have been a girl he would of ‘got it’ 😛 ) and I reread his response;
Neil: I think this is a good opportunity for you to take a step back and recognize that YOU ARE ALWAYS IN CONTROL. You need to take the relationship of relating your emotions to your eating. They are not related and are completely separate. The more you can recognize this and not go from one extreme to the next depending on what your emotions are doing the better you will be in the long run. You can only control yourself and what you are doing. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empathize or feel for others, but during that time you need to realize you are still in control.
Umm, that’s powerful, even now as I reread it I feel the power in those sentences. He wasn’t being rude, he wasn’t trying to hurt me and I sure the heck am not paying him to coddle me and say ‘now now everything will be ok’. He was being honest, he was being real and he was saying come on women get it together you got this, you are the boss you are in control now giddy the heck up. (well that’s how I choose to read it). I moved on from that day with a new found strength. I know cliché but it’s the truth.
I never told anyone, not even my husband that I was entering this challenge. I am a mom of two daughters, one is about to graduate high school and the other will be entering high school. Like most moms we come last, and I’m ok with that it is my choice. But right now was my turn, my turn to really put the focus on me without anyone else’s input. What’s even better is I was able to take the time for me and my family never even noticed that I was making myself more of priority as far as taking time away from them. The plans that were set up were so easy to work in to my every day, no endless hours at the gym no hours upon hours of meal prepping. I most definitely was in the driver’s seat and Neil was my ‘backseat driver’, not those annoying ones 😉
I turned 40 in January and was super excited to start this milestone year, I made it very clear that this was going to be my year. So far, I’m killing this 40 thing, and dare I say I’m pretty proud! This mom and wife is excited to keep making myself a priority and I couldn’t be happier with my success. Who knew at 40 I’d have ‘caps’ on my shoulders and abs starting to peak through, yep this is my year!