Self-help, happiness, and fixing negative thinking patterns is serious business these days. Chances are you have spent time in the self-help aisle of your bookstore; researched a perfect pill for your symptoms and / or a professional who promises to help you achieve that blissful life you’ve been seeking.
Unfortunately it is not as simple as read this book, or take this pill — positive self talk requires effort and diligence. We all have secret superpowers, the tricky part is learning how to unleash our inner superhero and banish negative self talk. Check out my seven strategies below…
I heard from a fabulous client the other day, whom I will refer to as Sally. Sally emailed me and said that she was stuck in a dark place and that she was really struggling with some things in her life.
She wrote to say, “Honestly I’m not doing too well right now. I’m super stressed and overwhelmed. I keep falling off plan with my diet, and I haven’t trained all week… I’ll be fine. It’s just tough right now. There are so many things to get done and to figure out how to do. I’m working through it…but the past few days I have not been working through it gracefully, that’s for sure.”
Life is hard sometimes. This is what a support system is for, and what I’m here for. You are never alone. Know that everyone, including me feels like this at one point or another. We all struggle at different times with finding meaning, making a living, figuring out our lives and finding love – I mean, lets be honest, sometimes we just feel like hiding. Sometimes we feel like hanging up our cape and surrendering. Superheroes are more than just a story. They are a symbol of the person that we wish to become. The person who does all of the right things and that is brave and strong. That is why we have been fascinated by superheroes for so long.
I promise, no PROMISE you that if that’s how you feel, it’s just one small part of what has to happen…life is full of tough choices, it tests us over and over, to make sure you REALLY want it. Everything you have done so far has been for a purpose. I know how easy it is to second guess yourself and get down on yourself especially when you aren’t seeing progress.
The thing is, you ARE successful right now. You have managed to live through challenging things before, and you are heading in the right direction now. I go through periods of this myself and I believe it’s a necessary part of the process. I have been in the negative… I’ve taken on more than I could handle… I’ve felt overwhelmed, like there was no end in sight… sacrificed relationships… put friends on hold and moved numerous times over the past 4 years BUUTT I’m still here. Still going.
It hasn’t gotten easier yet, but I have gotten better and if I wasn’t willing to stay in it, stay uncomfortable and stay focused, I never would have gotten to the place I am now….which when I compare it to where I was 4 years ago is pretty freaking awesome.
I know you may find yourself comparing your progress or your lack of progress right now to other people and thinking you’re doing something wrong, but you must not do that – you must remember that every single person has a unique journey, and that even if YOU did everything they did, you would end up with a different outcome because that’s the way this game works. The only person you can measure yourself against is YOU.
The journey is the reward. I promise you. I PROMISE YOU.
I’m dedicating today’s blog post to my dear client Sally, and to anyone who has ever felt discouraged with their perceived lack of progress, because I sure have. So chin and remember that every famous superhero has had to struggle through challenges and crash ungracefully through obstacles. We all wish to become the best version of us we can be. To overcome our limitation as a human being is our dream. And that is one reason why we love superheroes. They exceed the limitations and do things that we all wish we could. We all want to find that one thing within us that makes us better. And that is what superheroes symbolize.
Here are my seven tips on how to unleash your inner super hero…
1. Practice your Power Stance: Change your state of mind with your body. Studies show that taking on postures of confidence can actually help you FEEL more confident. Posture, posture, posture.
2. Take 2-3 minutes every day to Meditate and think about Positive Things: I know there are at least 5 things in your life that you are grateful for. It’s really important to dedicate a few minutes each day to just sit quietly and think about them. I like to do this first thing in the morning – a practice I started doing a few years ago in order to stop myself from automatically reaching for my phone to check email as soon as I open my eyes. It’s a really good practice, no matter what time of day you do it.
3. Identify 5 People in Your Life who have Qualities You Admire, and Spend More Time with Them: We are the product of the people we spend the most time around. Make a conscious decision to spend more time with and around the people who have qualities you admire, who inspire you, and are doing things with their lives that you hope to do or are working on doing. If they aren’t people you have direct access to, read their books or blogs, listen to their podcasts, tweet at them and generally make their voice one that is part of the conversation you have with yourself daily.
4. Identify the Negative, Energy-sucking People in Your life and Spend as Little Time with Them as Possible: You know who they are. Spend less time with these people. Don’t engage in conversation with them. Be polite, but distant. Spend your energy on the people who inspire you. Avoid drama, gossip and negativity – it will derail you from your goals and will drain your energy – relegate those people to the least important part of your life.
5. Set Boundaries for Yourself: We have to know when to say no. I know how hard it is to say no when there are so many things to try and do and people to see…but we have to take care of ourselves. Don’t feel like you have to do everything – take the pressure off yourself and remember to protect your energy so you don’t burn out.
6. Help a Stranger: Go out of your way to help someone today. It could be as simple as listening to someone’s story, or noticing that someone is struggling and stepping in to help them. When we stay open, opportunities to help others always present themselves. Be a real hero and make someone’s day with a simple act of kindness.
7. Eat Good Food: Eating is social, creative and pleasurable. It is almost impossible to remain negative while chowing down on some delicious, healthy fare. For example — check out this breakfast bake from my good friend Kait Dinunzio. If you successfully eat this amazing dish and don’t feel a morsel of happiness – god bless your doomed soul.
I served this with 1c egg whites, 2p of low fat Canadian bacon dipped & fried in coconut pan…cake mix, 1tbsp sugar-free syrup & a black coffee.
25g diced apple, microwaved soft with a sprinkle of sweetener & apple pie spice
2p sourdough rye bread
1tbsp cinnamon brown sugar cream cheese
1tsp brown sugar/sweetener blend
1tsp apple pie spice
1 packet/tsp sweetener
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Divide & spread cream cheese on bread. Cut bread into small cubes & place into bowl. Add apples, egg whites, apple pie spice & sweetener, mix well. Put into a small greased baking dish (I use glass tupperware). Sprinkle brown sugar blend and apple pie spices on top to make a yummy crust. Bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes or until egg whites have set. Remove from oven and top with 1tbsp sugar-free syrup
MACROS: 264 calories – P 19.5g – C 35.5g – F 4.5g
I believe the problems our world faces will not be solved until people believe one person can make a difference, and in the end, isn’t that what Superheroes are really all about?
Be your own superhero. You are more powerful than you think.
With love from the Trench kitchen,