What I am about to suggest is something really crazy. Just stay with me; I promise it’ll be worth your while.
What if instead of chasing a fat loss goal, we just relaxed?
What if we loved our bodies now instead of in t-minus 10 pounds from now?
What if we took the time to find a fitness and nutrition plan that we actually enjoyed, so that the whole transformation process becomes (gasp)… enjoyable?
I know it seems completely counter to what we’re used to. Many of us have spent our entire lives thinking we aren’t good enough, and won’t ever be good enough until we have the perfect body. It’s something that countless women struggle with every single day.
We berate ourselves over every nutritional indulgence, and every missed workout. We don’t allow ourselves to recover when we’re exhausted, or have a piece of chocolate when our body craves it. Train hard. Eat clean, No excuses. That’s what’s going to bring us happiness… right?
The questions is, once you reach that arbitrary goal, will you truly be content? Will you unconditionally love the skin you’re in? Chances are you won’t. You’ll have spent the last 6 weeks, 6 months, 6 years – struggling. You’ll hustle, strive and completely exhaust yourself. You’ll decline invitations to hang out with friends because of your diet. You will ostracize yourself in the name of fat loss.
I know, because once upon a time that was me.
How many times, while in the pursuit of your goal, will you have said awful diminishing things to yourself? How many times will you utter phrases like:
I can’t eat that.
I feel so fat / disgusting / weak.
I have no will power.
I’ll never look like her.
You’ll go to bed hungry. you’ll eat food that bores you. You’ll workout harder and longer as self-punishment. You will waste your limited breaths on these destructive phrases, in pursuit of a corporal goal. And that’s just the thing – your time is limited. Your breaths are precious and you will never know when one will be your last. Are you willing to spend your limited time on this earth miserable, obsessed and shame-ridden?
You simply cannot hate yourself leaner. Hating your body now, instead of loving and accopeting it, is most certinaly going to make you hate the process of “improving it.” Self-love and acceptance run far deeper than a body composition percentage; Self-compassion doesn’t lie in a number on the scale. If you chase these things in search of happiness, you’ll never be satisfied. Love starts now, not 10 pounds from now.
Right now in this moment you are enough. You are unique and extraordinary; there is no other you. You are radiant and powerful – a beautiful person with a special purpose. You can’t transcend the impulse to hate your body into the vision you’ve created in your head. Now, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to improve or enhance your fitness. If you want to lose fat, gain muscle, get stronger, increase flexibility and so on – then you absolutely should. More than likely, you will gain unmeasurable happiness through exhilarating exercise and nourishing food. You can seek to transform your body and elevate your fitness while being comfortable in your own skin – right now. You can love your body and simulateously seek to make it stronger and leaner. If you can do this, not only will you enjoy the fitness experience, living fully and authentically but your transformation will be sustainable.
When you hate yourself lean, you’ll create an impossible situation for yourself. It will never be enough. You will never be enough. It will last until your will power crumbles. You will jump from one diet to the next… in search of elusive happiness. Hating your body into transformation mode is not sustainable.
You won’t find happiness in a diet or in a leaner physique. Everything you need is inside you, right in this moment; all you need to do is harness it.
It isn’t easy; loving yourself. Accepting yourself takes work. You are working against external forces that are determined to convince you that you aren’t enough. You are living in an age where the image of an ideal woman gets smaller each day, and body shaming runs rampant. You have to dig deep, dismiss the external chatter, and look inward for the light that shines brightly. You have to breathe. You have to literally say “I love you” in the mirror until it reigns true. Acceptance is a path that takes effort, but it becomes more easily walked when you consider the alternative; resentment heartache, and self loathing.
Next time you feel the urge to say something negative to yourself, replace it with compassion. I can’t eat that becomes I choose not to eat that. Diminishing comments about your body get replaced with compliment’s. You’ll simply train yourself to speak kindly, one word at a time. This is compassion patience, and it must happen daily and intentionally. You’ll stop the negative thoughts as they arise, choosing instead to fill your heart with love.
With practice, self-loathing is interchanged with self-love.
Relax your way to fat loss? Thats cocoNUTS!
Coconut Granola Balls:
1 cup oats
1/2 cup PB2
1/2 cup unsweetened coconut flakes
1/2 cup carob or chocolate chip of choice
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup chia seeds
1 scoop Optimum Nutrition 100% Gold Standard Whey (I used Cinnamon Graham Cracker)
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1. Combine all ingredients into a bowl. Stir to combine – you may need to add water to combine the yummy goodness. With wet hands roll the batter into 16 balls. Refrigerate for a few hours before serving. Can be stored in the freezer indefinitely.
Macros: calories – 79k/cal – protein 5g – carb 10g – fat 2.8g
With love from the Trench kitchen,