Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being redirected to something better.
Welcome 2015!! As we begin a new year I find myself reflecting on the year that’s passed.
Along with all the really awesome stuff that happened this year, I can’t help but reflect on the mistakes I made, on the things that went really wrong, on the things I wish I could have done better….
But were they really mistakes?
If it wasn’t for this practice I learned from one of my mentors called “reframing” I think I would hold onto those painful experiences and dwell on regret, or continue to tell myself what an idiot I was. As someone who used to be the biggest shit-self-talker around, I know how easy it can be to inadvertently slip into that kind of “down on yourself” thought process.
How we talk about ourselves and see ourselves is a practice, just like our weekly workout schedule is a practice. And repeating our practice over a period of time is what forms HABITS…habits that lead to results. A lot of our habits get formed unconsciously – like that negative self talk stuff. Nobody wakes up one day and says, “gee I think I’ll start beating myself up on a daily basis.”
It sneaks up on you. Because you practice it day in and day out.
But I changed that actually, and if you’re struggling with this at all I want to tell you how the reframe actually works. If you picture yourself in your own movie, your movie has a story. There might be things in your story that hurt you, were beyond your control, made you afraid or sent you down a path that you wish you hadn’t gone down (that’s true for me too).
But it’s the way you’re looking at your movie RIGHT NOW that you can dial in, adjust and bring into a new focus. A lot of us accidentally bill ourselves as the “victim” in our movie.
But you are NOT the victim. You’re the freaking STAR! You’re the HERO!
Remember that the hero ALWAYS suffers, always has to struggle to find the truth, the holy grail, save the day, slay the dragon – and the hero FALLS along the road.
Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up again.
There is this darkness between when the shit hits the fan and my ability to reframe it and see the lesson that feels overwhelming at times – before we can “see” sometimes first we must simply believe. It’s easier said than done but one thing I’ve learned for sure… It NEVER gets easier.
WE just get better.
The irony of life is that the more we learn, the less time we have to apply what matters. So don’t waste time wallowing in darkness. Own your mistakes. Find the lessons. Keep moving and make the most of your time.
You got this!
Remeber that the reason you are here living your life is because you are getting hero training lessons – because you are going to make the mental and physical practices you are consciously choosing habits in your life that sustain you in the battles you may have ahead.
If you can see what I see about your movie, you will understand that everything that’s come before was an important part of your journey, and that today, you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
Let’s appreciate all the lessons in this past year, and make 2015 our best year yet!
With love from the Trench Kitchen,